Some individuals really can not pin point not one reasoning for the stress. Why? Because it is multiple things; one thing is just heavier than the other. The best part is that you realized that you are stressed. A step towards thinking to self: How can I be relieved of this stress? Yield, Slow down. Moving to fast in relationship decisions can be very stressful as well. Allowing one mistake after another, being in total denial about your partners behavior as well as accepting it, leads to stress. You feel some how that you are in control of the unhealthy situation. Love is blind in most cases. You are indeed looking at a smoke screen of what love is. YOU ARE THE SCREEN BLOWING THE SMOKE.
It is less stressful to deal with a child’s behavior, rather than deal with a grown behind adult. This is where it gets stressful. Because you know this person is an adult. This is what makes these unhealthy behaviors so stressful, you wanting to fix them, hide them from family and friends, not wanting advice, and praying that these behaviors do not break up the relationship. There are things within your life that you want and need for self. If your partner is first in everything, and you are dealing with fears of losing him; your stress will turn into a emotional problem. What behavior you accept into your life will define your life. When you care more for him rather than self; then the relationship becomes one sided. This alone is stressful because your needs are not getting met. This is not about him.
Your partners behaviors are not your stress factors. The way you deal with them is the stress factors as well as accepting them. He is who he is. You may have to accept the fact that when you decide to take care of you, this relationship might end. This is phrase is why so many folk stick, and stay in unhealthy relationships. As been said billions of times. THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. Well take a chance on it. It may pay off for the better.
Let’s go a little deeper into some focal points:
- What are my pay offs for accepting unhealthy behaviors from my partner?
- What are my true fears of the out come?
- what are my payoffs for staying in this relationship?
- What have I accomplished for my self during this relationship?
- Do I honestly feel as though I can change him/or he will change?
- Do I have faith in myself to believe that whatever the out come I am a survivor
215.667.3346- Coach Graci