Archive | May 2015


listenBeing understood and heard is very important in life. Communication is important in life. It works. Some folk may not like what you say; some may disagree with what you say. At the end of the day, you are still you. Voicing your feelings give you the freedom to be you. It is not what you say but how you say. Can you get your point across? Sure you can. I n the most effective way. Set the tone. Unlock your emotions your feelings of self worth. Never allow fear to keep you from voicing your pain. Some people actually will not even share their good news, fearing someone will not cheer them on. Holding in what you feel diminishes who you really are.  It’s like being trapped in a fat body and afraid to ware a bikini.

Yes it can be very challenging finding that inner voice. Because it says a lot about whom you are. It is all about taking mental steps saying; HEY WORLD IT ME.  Yes it is a journey that requires opening up doors and saying come on in. This the real me, and this is how I feel.  Don’t die never having live. It’s like sleeping  with an untaught mute. Some one with all these feeling and can’t express them. Which is very unhealthy for a relationship, marriage, and family.  Never resort to being a punching bag with out feelings. You have them, express them. OK you fear speaking your true feelings may cause you to lose someone or something very dear to your heart. If this is true then that thing or person should not be apart of your life. Never give will your life over to anyone or thing.

Keeping your truth locked in you is like living in a very dark place. There is so much light around you, but no one can see you, feel you, hear you, and they continue to do the same things to you, that has always annoyed you. No not heir fault. You allow it.

Imagine the Day Martin Luther king stood up and let his voice be heard. It struck a nation. imagine what your joy you voice can bring in life, just imagine the bright lights. Some of the greatest stars are still afraid to reveal whom they really are and not even their money can buy that freedom.



This entry was posted on May 31, 2015.


chainsSome qualities in a relationship can be very toxic. This dose not mean that the relationship is doomed; rather it just mean that whatever  the toxic attribute are you just need to eliminate them. Can you relate to any of the signs below:

  • Lack of joy, or lack of positive, in the relationship– this signify that there is very little communication within the relationship, or the relationship has a lot of  complaints, criticism, and or negativity.
  • Intolerance of difference. – In relationships there are attributes about your partner that bother him/her about you and vice-a-versa.These things can rub you both the wrong way. But they can be worked on. Couples who become increasingly intolerant of each others behaviors, personality traits can be a great risk for a break up.
  • Righteous conflict.- These couples usually argue about who is right and whom is wrong, the relationship is at dangerous. This the result of poor communication and not knowing how to use the dynamics of critical conversation. When one is more concern about being right than the other, this will soon over time destroy trust and communication over time. Eventually that couple feel as though he / she can no longer communicate with you.
  • Sweeping issues under the rug.- This sets couples up to become distance. You both know that there is a problem, but refuse to address it without resoluting it; talking it over, sets your your relationship up for failure. When this happens with frequency, it dose demise the relationship.
This entry was posted on May 26, 2015.


GENERATIONAL CURSEFamily is bond. What comes with this bond. Sure laughs hugs, disagreements and many other things. There is a blood line. Good blood, bad blood. We grow up and leave home. You figure you are on your own now, and leaving everyone behind. Oh! But is this true? Many of us see it that way. What we do not understand; is that so much come with being tied to a family. There is illness to consider, attitude adjustment, Personality traits, and features. Who you look like, what you possibly could look like at a certain age. Wow! there is so much to consider. FACT: Your life is never really your own, so you would like to think it is.

This is where it get deep and deifying:

When you decide to date, get serious, and or get married. You have now opened up your history book, but with out having researched the Wikipedia on your family. Why? Because you figure. “I AM COOL” what the heck can be wrong with my life? Mary is crazier then me. I got it together. LOL  Please. Now history begins to follow you.  As a woman and as a man. You notice as a woman you seem to draw a certain type of man in your life. One that is needy, a drinker, has mental issues, or a mamma’s boy, someone whom has an addiction, someone who likes to abuse women ect. so you continue to deal with this. No you do not like it, but you feel as if you are going to win at this and fix the person and the problem. Now it did not work so you move on. Now you find yourself back in the same situation, but trying to figure this out yourself. Why am I back in the same situation. This has been for years. You are a magnet for the same type of person. You just can’t shake this, but you accept it with pain.  you are now owning the problem, without tagging the family. You  feel one day you will find the right person. This never happens. The cycle just repeats it self.

We all have something in us that draws a certain type of person towards us. And it is ok to find out why. The same goes for the men. You seem to draw the same type of woman in your life. Melodramatic, depressed, money hungry,sad story all the time, the all about me syndrome, Low-self-esteem, a woman who just want something and nothing at the same time, someone who is very insecure. Wow! it gets crazier. After awhile it is time to go deeper into identifying your PEOPLE MAGNET. You can go and sit down with all the therapist in the world. The  evaluation will always start like this. Tell me about your family. First lets start with mom and dad. Then it get down to your child hood. What was it like. Your therapist is now digging into your family Wikipedia. GENERATIONAL CURSES CAN BE BROKEN. But until then they will destroy and tear down your dreams of having a successful relationship.

Before entering into a relationship take self inventory, and with your potential partner evaluate. Learn their habits before you two begin to connect souls. One toxic souls defiles another. Once you realize you are dealing with a generational curse. It starts with you to break that first link. In today’s world of dating, in order to be safe you both need to do  A WIKIPEDIA ON EACH OTHER. These family traits will show up in your relationships. The family may not be a round but their whole being is SLEEPING WITH YOU AND YOUR PARTNER.




This entry was posted on May 20, 2015.


112G-Family-mFamily is everything. As well as order is everything. Everyone wishes for that perfect family and they all live happy ever after. But outside of the family someone has dreams to for fill. The burden of proof, those that have outside goals allow them to interfere with their home life and then there are some that become jealous of their partner because he or she is on the roll. There is that system again PEMDAS= (HOME) IS IN THEE EQUATION. This is what one must deal with first. Whatever is in the equation. If your life is not straight then your home is in shambles eventually business will fail or be under siege.   That will not be seen until it becomes to hard to repair.


This person tend to be controlling and bossy at home, but he / she dose not see that their head has just gotten all big. They are just going for what they know and want. Fame, money , power and prestige. What they will say: Can’t  you see that I am doing this for us. Perhaps maybe so. When actually he / she is really doing it for themselves. This becomes evident to your partner when you begin to leave a lot of things undone, and expect your partner to be supportive and handle things for you. “BROKEN LIMBS CAN NOT SUPPORT THE BODY”. The pressure build up and things began to fall apart. If both  come into a RELATIONSHIP with a balance; it then is very easy to become unbalance when one is running for their dream and they expect the other to hold the fort down. The other began to feel slighted and then go outside for the relief he / she is not getting at home. This dose not say the love is no longer there, but the bow has been broken. It is hard for the one running for fame having to do both; running for their dreams and maintaining home, but it is easier for them if they include their partner in it all. There maybe times when business takes you away from home, but this should be rare. Your partner should be able to travel with his / her partner. Their should be something set up to make him/ her / feel apart. God will never give you a an assignment that will effect your family, for that is very important to him. So he expect you two to remain complete and find a balance; maintaining a healthy relationship between the two.



This jealous attitude is more of an defense mechanism, in this situation. The partner feels less then. He / she is watching your growth and realizes he / she is not growing. You can tell them all day long that this is for you both; it dose not mean a thing. All he or she knows is that they enter into the relationship with a balance and an equal share of support. These people are more disappointed in themselves for not following their dream. They tend to feel less then. This more stronger in a man then in a woman. It tampers with the male ego that his mate is rolling high and bringing in more than he is. He fill he has no shape, to him you are not evenly yoked, and with your throne of grace he is happy for you, but feel as though what about me now. Tabloids to do not lie. Success breaks up homes if you are not careful.

There needs to be an understanding going into the relationship what your goals and dreams are, and if accomplished can your partner handle such. Sure one will say yes. That is only because they have no idea whats in store with his / her partners plan of action to be successful. There are ways and means to rectify this situation. NEVER BE AFRAID TO REACH OUT FOR HELP . God never give an assignment that will destroy, much rather he gives it  to build.

This entry was posted on May 19, 2015.


NEED TO TALKI love him/ I love her. But do you really know whom you are in love with, or it just that you want what you when you want it? There are a lot of things to consider in a relationship. One’s faith. Where do they stand with her/ his spirituality, her / his beliefs, and or are their priorities mixed up.  These attributes are very rarely thought of until, things are just not going the way you want in the relationship. Right away someone is hollering Lord Dear Lord!  The relationship is going sour and she / he still wants to stay. So they go and pray to God for guidance. It is always one or the other that has that strong faith in the Most High. But how sincere is their faith; that they would still hold on to what they know is unhealthy and toxic. Wanting what you want when you want it can cause you a sweet ticket to the devils den. Funny! many women really believe that God is sitting along side them in their heist to take love and finagle it to fit their desired world.


Fact: Faith is a must in a relationship, but faith that is in God and in your partner second. He / she must know what is being masked before God. Know that God knows for sure who you really serving and whom you really choosing to  serve. Keep in mind you can not serve two masters. Oh! but The Most High know for sure who you chose. When your walk is mighty with God, it is not wise to compromise your faith, before god for what you know is not conducive before him.  Once you fall in love with someone while on your journey with God, and your desire to adhere to your calling, things become come tangled and confusing. Is walking with God a task? Yes! BUT BEAUTIFUL. One thing it should never be is compromised for anything or anyone. If you know that your mate is not healthy; yes now you have to make a decision and it should be God. Your deep feeling are he / she has a heart, but they just got issues. It is not the heart you need to be concerned about. It is the issues your partner has you need to be concerned about. There are a lot of social-paths out here today that have a heart, but their attitudes and the things that they do have not been conducive in Gods eyes. Their souls are not right. But if you are in a relationship where your mate is a cheater, a lair, deceitful, and been diagnosed with a mental disease that will debilitate a relationship, and you decide to stay with him / her because it is easier for you to do what you want and have what you want; then you need to take a look at your Soul and your loyalty to God and your mighty walk. A bushel of roses and candies, a few pieces of jewelry and a few honey babies dose not say it is well with his / her Soul. You can not take your already made u p tools to rearrange someone life to fit yours. Understand- God dose not reside where there is confusion, he dose not invite or bring hell to your door, he will never indulge in fornication, and he REFUSE to be in a battle for your love between him and the devil. You must make your choice If things are not well with his / her soul you must move on. God Got You. The uni bomber had a heart but no Soul, his heart was for what he wanted in life. This is one of thee most beautiful things that the Lord has given you, THE RIGHT TO CHOSE. BUT BE FARE, TO THE ONE THAT NOT ONLY HAVE A HEART HAS A MIGHTY SOUL AND YOU BACK. WITH HIM THERE IS DELIVERANCE, NOT BELLIGERENCE.

This entry was posted on May 19, 2015.

Connecting as a Couple: Communication for A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

NEED TO TALKCommunication is important to human interaction and intimate couples relationships. KEY WORDS: Marriage, Conflict, Emotions, & communication.

Effective communication is critical for building and maintaining a strong couple relationship. Communication is more than grammar. In fact, the emotional layer of communication may be on of the most important to relationship couples. I feel it would be safe to teach emotional communicative skills. This allows you to get in-touch with that inner feeling and be able to express it in many ways; to your partner. It allows you to see where you and your partner are going. Strongly to see if you two do have an connection.


Emotional connecting skills is what couples should have at all times, in their relationship tool box. Which involves connecting, seeking support or comfort when needed, conveying emotions, and or effecting some changes in their environment. Partners must learn how to connect in ways that enrich their relationships. There are many elements of successful communications; relationships connecting has a strategy to get you on the road to being in a healthy relationship. Pay close attention to the 5 ks



This entry was posted on May 13, 2015.