Archive | June 2015


Fotor0531142436FACT: Pain can be visible, but  never spoken about. People see your scares through your everyday actions; and even your visible physical abuse. They dare not say anything. Feeling as if it is none of their business. They hurt for you, but respect you or maybe just a afraid to inquire. If you never open your mouth, many are going to assume you are ok.

Lydia a 32 yr old woman. has been being abused physically and mentally by her abuser. She nerve spoke a word of this. No one ever saw the physical abuse, but knew there were something wrong with Lydia. Age fifteen  she was sexually abused by here uncle, which did not end until 17 years until his demise. Lydia still never spoke a word. Her voice became locked; from fear, depression, guilt. Lydia is dealing with emotional freeze. What people had noticed about Lydia is that she was sad all the time, resentful, withdrawn a lot of times.Most off all she was always angry. When all your hurt and pain began to control your day, everything a round you becomes dark. You now do not see the light. People are no longer visible to you. This why you do not share and open up. What will they think or feel. We all realize and come to know that other women are gossipers and be-belittling. This was a stage that Lydia did not want to cross. What was she to do? Who was she to call on. Her voice was locked. By the sheer ignorance of others. It is ao important to find your voice, to be able to find your place  in the world as well as own it.


This entry was posted on June 20, 2015.


Fotor0531142436No matter how many years you have been with someone, it is always hard finding the words to say it is over. Most times it takes a burst of anger, or someone just throwing a lot of shade. But keep in mind that the longer you stay silent about your true feelings in a relationship; the more shade you will throw and the worst things will get. Because you have allowed fear to set in. You want the relationship to end, but you aren’t vocally amp enough to sound the trumpet. When someone is afraid to voice their opinion in this situation. Nine times out of ten her or she is not 100 percent positive is this is the right move, but they know at this time this is what they want. Some people can blow the horn because it’s something in the relationship they want, but it isn’t the person no longer.In relationship decision it is hard to speak because there is a need or want or fear that is blocking the voice. That person needs to to stop fornagleing and decide first what is keeping them from speaking about their choice to end the relationship. If it is truly fear then seek help. Ask your self at all times that you are ready to speak, what are my pay offs for being silent in my decision making? What are my pay offs for staying in this relationship.

#with no voice ,you can not represent your life’s desires


This entry was posted on June 17, 2015.


Fotor0531142436Getting your point across and being understood is important to you. Someone not understanding you tends to shut you down. Now you are lost for words. The individual has over powered the conversation; along with placing fear in you, and he/she  is now in control. This leaves you drained and annoyed. You were not heard. You partner, child, boss, friends can only rob you of your right to be heard if you allow it. There is not one person in this world that can not be heard. Even in the court of law you get to have your say. But dose this mean that you need to be handcuff to be heard.? But you can use the same tool they use, and own your role in a conversation as well as be heard. LOL! No one is ever going to say you have the right to be silent. You heard what I said the right. So own your voice and be heard.

For many individuals it is hard to be heard. There are risk in getting your point across. But there is a price to pay for freedom. There are relationships you will think about. Oh God if I say this will this ruin us? In retrospect it might make that party respect you a little more. Will mom be mad at me? she may but she is that key word mom. A real mother gets angry then later get over it. Will I lose my job? No! there is a system and protocol to save your job. It is not what you say it is how you say it. Even economy has a way of stilling your voice. Just respect the person with the authority or badge, but position your conversation according to the rules of that over head. Still you get to voice your feelings.

Good communication skills mean having the ability to be heard, no matter whom you want to hear. Have you ever noticed how a person lite up a room and right away he has everyone’s attention.You too can lite up a conversation and get the response you need to get your point across to people or just one individual. This what a mute will do if they want to be heard; not only will they use sign language, but they will also use a certain facial expression that gets that persons attention and use a whole body action. As you are reading this now You may be that person that have words to say and just do not know how to articulate them, because you are unaware of the out come. When you ride a horse too hard and the wrong way he will jilt until he trows you off, but the next time you will know how to ride him. COACH GRACI   #twitter is a tweet; but to get heard and understood you must speak


This entry was posted on June 15, 2015.


Fotor0531142436Yes! Your voice is your investment. Look at the investment of Martin L. King, Rosa Parks, Harriett Tubman, and many others. If had these people allowed their pain, and confusion about life shut their voices down we would not be voting; drinking the same water as the white folk. Our children would be suffering today. You need to open your voice box and let those whom hurt you, those whom fail you hear. But even so when you open up to these people, they see that they no longer scare you, they will keep trying; but the stronger your voice of opinion the more the abuser will take heed. It is not what you say it is how  you say it. You also must learn to set the tone. There is a time and a place to express your self. Setting the tone, the mood, and the origin opens doors to freedom of speech and  having comfort to speak . Yes set it off. Own your voice. The one you fear, you need to believe they fear you more; is why they treat you like they do. They feel they need to over power you before you seize the power.

Many individuals have some deep in side of them that they want to express, but something is holding them back. Their voice go in lock mode. There are many ways to unlock that voice. It’s like basket ball. Getting that one shot “SLAM DUNK” Open door policy it’s called. It is about sticking with the here and now. Don’t freeze. Deal with unwanted situation in a timely fashion. Other wise your voice will not have the effect that it would have dealing with the matter at hand. IT IS POWER IN THE KNOW AND NOW

This entry was posted on June 15, 2015.